Cruisers often find their vessels seem to shrink once everyone and their gear is on board.

House guests in a 2,000-square foot home are one thing. House guests on a 34-square foot boat are another. Not that we don’t love having guests, but we’ve found that whether guests for a day sail, or guests for a week, setting some ground rules and realistic expectations can go a long way to keeping things on the sunny side of the dock.

During the year and a half we spent cruising in the Caribbean, we had eight sets of one-to-three guests aboard our 34-foot blue water race boat with a 10-foot beam. For each group, we were elated to have them join us and share a slice of our lifestyle, but there’s no denying that the intensity level rises exponentially with each additional body that comes aboard and the subsequent reduction of open space.

We thought we had a handle on things, until a friend we’ll call Matthew Menace took his turn for a visit. Politely ready to accept what food was prepared for him and whatever wine filled his glass, it occurred to me at some point that he was never going to pitch in with the preparing, the pouring, or the clean-up. Like a king in his throne, he sat waiting for the activities and meals to come to him. He’d brought no means to entertain himself, and took no interest in the books we had aboard. From his perch in the cockpit, Matthew passed time chatting with us while we cooked, cleaned, and sailed the boat from one destination of his choice to the next. He snorkeled when we snorkeled. When we woke up he was already waiting for his coffee. When we went to sleep he watched as we closed the v-berth door. Our precious stores of good wine and gourmet food, which we’d so diligently collected, dwindled before our despairing eyes.

Since that time, we have developed a set of guidelines for our guests that we objectively email to each of them well before their visit. By setting the expectations early and in a non-personal way, it has eased the necessity for uncomfortable conversations once they are actually on board. Forewarning about topics such as a limited water or power supply help prepare them for this new experience of life on a boat.

And then there’s bringing the mountain to Mohammed--a friend packed this cooler, stocked with goodies from home.

Whether you are a day sailor doing an occasional weekend cruise with friends, or a full time sailor cruising in an exotic destination, we hope you find these guidelines for your guests useful. Send your guests a link to this page or copy and paste this into an email for them. We think you’ll find that by setting clear expectations for everyone before they’re aboard you’ll have more enriching visits once you get underway.

Dear Guests:

2. Less is best: bring the minimum and it will still be too much.

Bring the minimum amount of items you think you’ll need and pack them in a soft-sided bag for stowing away (hard luggage is also more likely to scratch teak and fiberglass). It’s likely your cruising hosts have pared down their own wardrobes and amenities if they are effectively living aboard, so there’s no need to fear a competition for widest array of fashionable outfits. You may discover the freedom of traveling light, and your hosts will appreciate your minimalist approach.

3. Treat water like gold.

Obtaining fresh water aboard a boat at sea is rarely a simple proposition. Never let the water run, and use the least amount necessary to meet your needs. Your hosts don’t want you to learn the value the hard way: by running out, without the means to get more.

Establishing some of the ground rules before the crew gets aboard can take the edge off both guest, host, and perhaps save some expensive boat gear.

4. Conserve power.

You can’t plug your boat into a wall socket to get power at sea. Your hosts’ power is generated from the sun, from the wind, from an alternator, or from a generator. Use the minimal amount of power for your needs, and turn lights and radio off when you’re not using them.

5. If something doesn’t feel right, just ask.

If something feels jammed, or you think a switch isn’t working properly, don’t force it or try to fix it yourself! Ask your host. It’s likely you just aren’t familiar with the nuances of this boat. We once had a guest get frustrated that the foot pump on our sink was stuck because it wouldn’t pump up and down all the way. He used all his weight to get the pump to reach the floor before it broke off and he realized it isn’t meant to reach all the way to the floor.

6. Be flexible.

Once aboard, you’re at the hands of the sea and sky and your plans may not always sync with those of Mother Nature. Your planned itinerary may require uncomfortable or even unsafe conditions. Your flexible attitude will go a long way towards easing tension with the rest of the crew.

7. Don’t show up empty handed.

Your hosts will appreciate your contribution to the feeding and watering of the crew. Your gesture will be especially appreciated if you’re joining full time cruisers on a fixed budget.

If you’ll be cruising to ports where you’re able, consider picking up dinner for your hosts (trust me – if they object, they’re probably just being polite). We know one cruising couple that implemented a “kitty” system when guests arrived. Everyone traveling together contributed to the kitty fund and group meals, groceries and activities were paid for from the kitty. The best sorts of guests added a little extra padding to the kitty fund as their contribution to their visit.

8. Offer a hand.

Unless you’re fortunate enough to be visiting friends aboard a boat with a paid Captain and Chef, your help will be appreciated. You can help prepare meals or offer to lead the clean-up effort. Make a special effort to keep common areas and your berth tidy. In the confined space of a sailboat just one overflowing bag can take over an entire salon.

9. Spend some time alone

Take a tour of the town, do some snorkeling off the back of the boat, or bring a book up to the bow for some reading time. Living shoulder to shoulder with even the best of friends for any extended amount of time can bring up tension that has never existed before. You and your hosts will appreciate the down time and be enthusiastic to see each other when you return!

10. If traveling to visit friends in exotic ports of call, offer to bring boat parts, cosmetics, or specialty foods.

Earn instant hero status! While a trip to the local boat store in your car may be a simple inconvenience for you, for your cruising friends obtaining the boat parts may be impossible. In remote settings, getting favorite cosmetics or even food items might also be unrealistic. A friend of ours provisions her boat at the gourmet food store every time she returns home to the States, but when guests replenish her stores with fresh items – it’s a party every time! And as the bearer of the good food, you’ll reap the rewards as well.

And lastly, to you – the hosting Captain and crew – be sure to familiarize your guests with the specifics of your boat once they’re aboard. Point out where the life jackets are and how to use the radio. Consider that traversing the strange new customs of a sailboat, the electrical panel, head, and the other ensuing systems can be intimidating territory for anyone.

Fair winds and following seas to you and your guests!